Resolution time...

Yep, that's right. Time to post a "who I want myself to be in 2012" list. One may think this kind of list is coming forth with anxiety, but I am happy to proclaim the opposite. God and I have been battling to bring Whitney's heart some true, genuine peace. We all know that HE knows best. He tells me, shows me, and even gives me peace. But in true Whitney (and just plain human) form I counter offer what He provides with what I think will bring me peace. Needless to say, I lose every time. But unlike all the other years and after all the tears that come from trying my own way, I have waved the white flag. I surrender.

You may think I am speaking a foreign language (which is a goal of mine this year! Conquer French!), but I am here to tell you (because obviously I have no pride when it comes to this blog) the ways I have fought God trying to find peace. And from that where I am today. And my resolutions for this year as a result of both. Maybe you will relate to a few... maybe you will think I am nuts. Hopefully not, but I wouldn't blame you if so.

Here we go!

I'm just going to lay it all out there and start with the most frustrating of all peace attemps in my every waking hour, daily life... and I believe to a certain extent most females suffer with this... Body image, weight, diet, exercise, workout plan, fasting, binging, or whatever form it may come in.... (not that all of these apply to me... but they are all under the same principle... IF I can follow a certain diet, IF I can weigh a certain amount, IF I can wear a certain size, IF I am smaller than my friends, IF I workout this many times a week, IF I run this many miles, IF I only eat this many calories, IF I don't eat carbs.... Need I say more? THEN I will be at PEACE!

Girlfriends I am here to tell you I have TRIED IT ALL in my 24 years. No carbs, low fat, no sugar, I WAS A VEGETARIAN FOR 2 YEARS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!, I have run for weight loss, biked for weight loss, YOGA'd for weight loss... I have taken Adderall to suppress my appetite, drank coffee to suppress my appetite, not eaten, ate 6 tiny meals a day, no processed foods, all organic, juiced, and so on and so forth. Am I at my ideal weight and size? No. Because none of these brought me peace. None of these were natural for me. Because I am NOT a Type A personality. I do not micro manage, I am not a clean freak, I am not a strict rule follower, have to have it my way kind of person. I am a feeler, a lefty, a laid back, nothing bothers me, happy go lucky kind of person. Tell me to only eat this, I will eat the opposite... I have been fighting the very ME God made! Now, don't get me wrong... I LOVE exercising! I love sweating! I am SO competitive! I love yoga! I love running (never thought I'd say that!) I love veggies, fruits, juicing, putting healthy things in my body, and being healthy! But I also LOVE ribs, my grandmama's homemade macaroni and cheese and her homemade biscuits made with Crisco! I love chocolate and red wine. I love a good burger. So for ONCE in my life this year I am NOT giving myself a strict list, plan, workout schedule, diet, etc, etc, etc... I am going to LIVE. I am going to make healthy choices at each moment, not ahead of time! I am giving myself FREEDOM.... PEACE... I am giving myself CHOICE back.... but, wait, no I am not... God is. Because He is the one who revealed Himself to me. This to me. My habits to me. Truth to me. He has given me PEACE that he loves me exactly the way He made me. And that if I constantly SEEK Him. Crave Him. He will give me the wisdom of the right choices. He will fill me. I will not need to be strict on myself for "peace," because He has already provided it!

So, resolution #1: Seek God for peace. (To extend this means to seek God instead of boys for peace, instead of wine for peace, instead of exercise for peace, instead of clothes for peace, instead of money for peace, instead of acceptance for peace, and the list goes on and on and on and on and on.... because ONLY He can give us PEACE. Everything will lose it's luster... we will keep needing to be accepted more... have more, buy more, run more, eat less, flirt more... whatever... with God, all I have to do is seek Him. To be still. His peace is always, constant, eternal, forever, overwhelming, amazing, beautiful.... and that list goes on and on and on...

Resolution #2: "Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." Matthew 25:40

Translation: Constantly do for others. Take myself out of the equation. To not DO for praise, for honor, for glory... but to DO because I am doing it for my father in Heaven. I am doing it to praise God. I am being a Christian. I am being Christlike. I am serving. I am being faithful. And because of this one day:

31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.


34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ Matthew 25

Resolution #3: Use my time WISELY. To schedule work outs, study time, school, and work appropriately. And to go to bed at a decent hour.

Resolution #4: Drink MORE water... I have been drinking tea and coffee like it is my job... need to drink more water...

Resolution #5: Keep my room clean. Every one, I believe, feels better is a clean environment. Mess makes me stress.

Resolution #6: Be careful what I say. I love to talk, but sometimes I need to love to not talk. I say more than I should sometimes. Need to be aware of what comes out of my mouth. Always saying sweet things about people, not negative.

Most importantly of them all is of course to SEEK GOD for peace. SEEK GOD for everything. Every question, every problem, every praise, every blessing. To Seek Him daily. Constantly. And to remember Jesus' words in Acts 20:35 "It is more blessed to give than to receive.” To put others first. To do for others, is doing for God. And right here in my life, my main focus is going to be on three precious little children. To love them. To hug them. To show them I care. Because they are losing their mommy. So it's my job to love them now.

Thank you, God for another year!! Help me SEEK YOU! Help me to put others FIRST, ALWAYS! To LOVE these children with your kind of LOVE!

"She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness." Proverbs 31:25-26

Praying God forms me into the above Proverbs 31 woman!
Whitney