Change doesn't mean Perfect... and more...

Ok so I just have to tell ya, if you don't have a personal relationship with Jesus, you've GOT to get one! I am AMAZED not even on a daily basis, but MOMENT by MOMENT how much Jesus loves me. It seems anytime my wondering mind is, in fact, wondering (which seems to be every sec of every day)... he answers the things I wonder the most... and it is sometimes instantly! Don't worry, I'm going to tell ya!

Ok so you know how I have been CHANGED... BUT some things, I have witnessed first hand, take TIME. And that bothers me. I have been expecting myself never dive back into ANY of the old me ways. I mean I've done very well so far with my thoughts/actions. EVEN music! AND t.v.! Working on my language. But...

Drinking for instance. I LOVE MY RED WINE. But this week I have made sure that instead of going back for my second, third, forth(that would be the whole bottle) glass, I would only have ONE. Because drunkeness is a sin.

So, I did, UNTIL Thursday night... I went to dinner with 3 friends... Mexican.... and Margeritas happened. And I indeed got drunk. (I mean hello, tequila?!) So when we all got back to my house, I confessed to them how I was very disappointed in myself and that I am trying to change and that I CAN'T believe I let that happen! They were all taken aback from my confession, and reassured me. But I was thinking, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! I'M A CHRISTIAN! (Not that they aren't, or anything!)

When I prayed, God assured me as well. He told me YOU ARE GOING TO SIN. YOU ARE A SINNER, AND I DIED FOR THOSE SINS. YOU ARE NOT PERFECT JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE SAVED. And believe me, I know all of this, but still... I am very hard on myself. I take my actions personally. If you know me, you KNOW I am a people pleaser. I DON'T want to let ANYONE down. I hate disappointing people. I want people to be PROUD of me. And now I am holding myself up to the ULTIMATE judge. God. And to the one who died for ME. Jesus.

AND THIS IS WHERE IT KEEPS GETTING BETTER!!!

God knows all this about me. He knows me so well that he...

YES, he gave me this devotion. You can look for yourself, if you'd like!

http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com/

If not, it is entitled "Getting Cleaned Up".

WOW. I'm in for a lesson, I first thought. But, no, like I JUST said, God KNOWS me. So this is a little bit of what it says:

"An innate urge asserts we must somehow "clean up our act" before we can come to Jesus. We feel it when we meet Him for the first time. Our bulky baggage of sin burdens us down. So we try to "clean up our act" so we can then come to Him. But as that contemplative, shepherd-turned-psalmist David declared in today's key verse, we need not attempt to spit-shine our own hearts, but rather must plead "Create in me a clean heart O God."

Yes, we do the pleading.

He does the cleaning."

Again. WOW.

So you mean... all I have to do is ASK? or PLEAD to be exact. And he will "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." (Psalm 51:10)

That makes me breathe easier.

And it made me think... If we COULD do it on our own then why would we NEED God? Hm... ponder that. :) The good thing is NOW I know I'm not supposed to even try to do it on my own. That is amazing.

Psalm 66:17-19, "I cried out to him with my mouth; his praise was on my tongue. If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened; but God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer."

Thank you, God. For your love. For listening to me even with sin on my heart.

Let me tell you something else, ladies. I have never felt as strong, secure, joyful, peaceful... and so much much much MORE as I do now. (Not just in this instance, now, but IN THIS NEW LIFE now.)

He will answer your questions, rest you aching heart. Bring you peace, love, and joy. You will become the YOU he intended YOU to be. You will find yourself being the BEST you. Your talents, your strengths, everything good about you will SHINE. Honey, I'm here to tell you... I ran 3 miles yesterday in 32 mins... and I have hated running with a passion since I was a child. He can wonderful things to and through you!

And that is NOT all.

As my FAVORITE verse in the Bible says:

"Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4)

And THIS is ONE of the desires of my heart:

"Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator." (Colossians 3:9-10)

I hope you will see that "new self" in me.

I love you all. Thanks already for your support and love. Have a wonderful weekend! It's Saturday! Woo hoo! Don't forget... JESUS LOVES YOU, TOO!